When you’ve weathered storms of emotional and psychological abuse, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you must have it all together. You’ve already been labeled, judged, and misunderstood; now, as you’re piecing your life back together, the pressure to appear perfect can feel overwhelming. But let’s take a moment to embrace the truth: perfection is not the goal. Healing is.
***The Illusion of Perfection***
In a world that praises the highlight reel, it’s easy to believe that others have it all figured out. Especially after enduring trauma, there’s a temptation to present a façade of strength and flawlessness. Yet, this illusion of perfection often becomes a prison, trapping you in a cycle of self-criticism and unrealistic expectations.
For the momma who’s found herself navigating the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, divorce, or the pain of losing time with her children, this pressure can be crushing. But here’s the truth: the real journey to healing begins when you let go of the need to be perfect.
***Why Embracing Imperfection is Key***
Imperfection is where growth happens. It’s in the messy moments of vulnerability that we learn the most about ourselves. When you allow yourself to be imperfect, you give yourself permission to heal at your own pace. You acknowledge that it’s okay to stumble, to have days when you don’t feel strong, and to seek help when you need it.
As a Christian woman, you know that God’s grace is sufficient in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). It’s in those moments of imperfection that His strength is made perfect. Instead of striving to meet an impossible standard, embrace the grace that covers your imperfections.
***Letting Go of the Perfect Mom Myth***
Motherhood, especially in the wake of trauma, can feel like a balancing act. The pressure to be the perfect mom—cooking organic meals, keeping a spotless house, being endlessly patient—can be overwhelming. But the truth is, being a perfect mom is not about doing everything right. It’s about loving your children, showing up for them, and teaching them the power of resilience.
Your children don’t need a perfect mom; they need a real one. One who shows them that it’s okay to have bad days, to ask for help, and to rely on God’s strength. By embracing your imperfections, you teach your children to do the same.
***Healing in the Mess***
Healing is not linear, and it’s certainly not neat. It’s messy, with steps forward and backward. But every part of the journey is valuable. When you stop striving for perfection, you can focus on the process of healing itself—on the progress you’re making, no matter how small.
Give yourself grace. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to have setbacks. What matters is that you keep moving forward, that you keep trusting God to guide you through the mess.
***Moving Forward with Grace***
As you continue on your healing journey, remember that you don’t have to have it all together. Perfection is an illusion, but grace is real. Embrace the imperfections, the missteps, the messy moments. They are all part of your story, a story of resilience, faith, and healing.
You are Still the Momma, imperfections and all. And that’s more than enough.