Let’s be honest, Mommas—finding your voice after enduring abuse is no simple task. It’s messy, it’s complicated, and sometimes, it feels downright impossible. But it’s also one of the most important journeys you’ll ever take. Reclaiming your voice isn’t about speaking louder; it’s about speaking your truth, even when your voice shakes. And believe me, there will be times when it shakes.
***The Messy Truth***
When you’ve spent years being silenced, manipulated, or told that your feelings don’t matter, finding your voice can feel like stumbling through a dark, cluttered room. You’ll trip over doubts, crash into old insecurities, and sometimes, you’ll just want to sit down and cry because it’s all too much. And that’s okay.
Here’s the thing: reclaiming your voice isn’t a straight path. It’s a journey full of twists, turns, and backtracking. One day you might feel empowered, like you’re finally speaking your truth, and the next day, you might feel like you’re back to square one, doubting everything. This is normal. It’s messy, but it’s real.
***The Fear of Being Heard***
One of the hardest parts of finding your voice is overcoming the fear of being heard. When you start to speak up, you might worry about how others will react. Will they dismiss you? Will they get angry? Will they think you’re crazy for finally standing up for yourself?
These fears are valid, especially if you’ve been in situations where speaking up led to more pain or conflict. But remember this: your voice is powerful, and it deserves to be heard, even if it makes others uncomfortable. The truth has a way of shaking things up, and that’s not a bad thing.
***The Voices in Your Head***
As you begin to find your voice, you’ll likely encounter another challenge—the voices in your head. You know the ones I’m talking about—the echoes of your abuser’s words, the doubts, the self-criticism, the lies you were told about yourself. These voices can be relentless, making you question whether you even have the right to speak up.
But here’s the truth: those voices are not yours. They are the remnants of someone else’s control over you. They might be loud, but they are not the final word on who you are or what you deserve. Your true voice is in there, waiting to be heard, and it’s stronger than you realize.
***When Addiction Flares Up***
Another challenge you may face while finding your voice is the resurfacing of old addictions or the temptation to turn to new ones. When you begin to confront the pain, the trauma, and the emotions that have been buried for so long, it can be overwhelming. The process of reclaiming your voice stirs up everything that’s been suppressed, and that can lead to a strong desire to numb the pain.
Addictions can flare up as a way to escape the intensity of what you’re feeling. The fear, the anger, the sadness—sometimes it feels like too much to bear. It’s tempting to reach for something, anything, to dull the edges of those emotions. Whether it’s alcohol, food, shopping, or other unhealthy habits, these are ways the brain tries to cope with the flood of feelings that come with finding your voice.
But here’s the important thing to remember: while those coping mechanisms might offer temporary relief, they also keep you trapped in the very cycle you’re trying to break free from. They silence your voice all over again, drowning out the truth you’re trying so hard to speak.
***The Power of Imperfection***
Finding your voice doesn’t mean you’ll always say the right thing or that your words will come out perfectly polished. In fact, it’s often in the moments of imperfection that your true voice shines through. When you speak from a place of honesty, even if it’s messy or emotional, that’s where your power lies.
It’s okay to stumble over your words. It’s okay to cry or get angry or not know exactly what to say. Your voice doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful. It just has to be yours.
***Embracing the Process***
The process of finding your voice is just that—a process. It’s not something that happens overnight, and it’s not something you have to do alone. Surround yourself with people who support you, who listen to you, and who encourage you to keep going, even when it’s hard.
And when it feels like the mess is too much, remember this: the mess is part of the process. It’s a sign that you’re doing the hard work of healing, growing, and reclaiming your life. Embrace the mess, because it’s leading you to something beautiful—your true, authentic voice.
Final Thoughts: Keep Speaking, Momma***
As you navigate this journey, know that it’s okay for it to be messy. It’s okay for it to take time. What matters is that you keep going, keep speaking, and keep believing that your voice matters. Because it does. Your voice is a testament to your strength, your resilience, and your unwavering spirit. It’s a voice that the world needs to hear.
So, keep speaking, Momma. Even when it’s messy, even when it’s hard, keep speaking your truth. Your voice is worth fighting for.