Dear Mommas,
There’s something sacred about the bond between friends. True friendship can be a source of comfort, joy, and strength—especially during the most challenging times. But after trauma, particularly after enduring the heartache of abuse or the devastation of a broken relationship, the way we navigate friendships can change. Today, let’s talk about how trauma impacts our relationships and how we can nurture healthy, supportive friendships as we move forward in our healing journey.
**Understanding How Trauma Affects Friendships**
Trauma has a way of reshaping our world. It can leave us feeling vulnerable, guarded, or even disconnected from the people we once held dear. Sometimes, the friends who were there before the trauma might not fully understand what you’ve been through. They might want you to “move on” quicker than you’re able, or they might unintentionally say or do things that feel hurtful.
On the other hand, trauma can also reveal who your true friends are. These are the ones who stand by you, offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and unwavering support, even when they can’t fully comprehend your pain. These are the friends who help you see the light at the end of the tunnel, who pray with you, who remind you of your worth in Christ when you feel like you’ve lost yourself.
**Evaluating and Reassessing Friendships**
As you heal, it’s important to evaluate the friendships in your life. This doesn’t mean cutting people out harshly, but it does mean being honest about what you need from your relationships at this stage of your journey.
Ask yourself:
– Does this friendship uplift me or drain me?
– Can I be my authentic self with this person, or do I feel the need to hide parts of my story?
– Is this friend supportive of my healing process, or do they minimize my experiences?
It’s okay if some friendships no longer fit where you are in life. As you grow and heal, your needs and the dynamics of your relationships may change. It’s natural to outgrow certain friendships and gravitate toward those that are more aligned with your current journey.
**Nurturing Healthy, Supportive Friendships**
After trauma, the friendships that will serve you best are those built on mutual respect, understanding, and grace. Here’s how you can nurture these types of friendships:
– **Communicate Openly:** Share your needs and boundaries with your friends. Let them know how they can support you, whether it’s by being a listening ear, giving you space, or joining you in prayer.
– **Lean on Your Faith:** Seek out friends who share your faith and can offer spiritual encouragement. These are the friends who will pray for you, who will remind you of God’s promises, and who will walk with you on your journey of healing.
– **Be Patient with Yourself and Others:** Healing is a process, and it’s okay if you’re not always able to be the friend you once were. Give yourself grace, and extend that grace to others as well. True friends will understand that you’re going through a difficult time and won’t hold it against you.
– **Seek Out New Connections:** Sometimes, the friends who can best support you are those who have walked a similar path. Consider joining support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who understand your experiences. New friendships can bring fresh perspectives and much-needed encouragement.
**Letting Go of Toxic Relationships**
One of the hardest things to do after trauma is to let go of toxic relationships. But this is often necessary for your healing. If a friendship is consistently causing you pain, if it’s filled with manipulation, judgment, or negativity, it may be time to let it go.
Remember, Mommas, you are worthy of friendships that are healthy, supportive, and loving. You deserve to be surrounded by people who see your value, who respect your journey, and who cheer you on as you rebuild your life. Letting go of toxic relationships is not about harboring bitterness; it’s about protecting your peace and prioritizing your well-being.
**Embracing the Gift of Friendship**
Friendship is a gift, a blessing that can bring immense joy and comfort. After trauma, it’s essential to nurture the friendships that feed your soul and to let go of those that don’t. As you navigate this process, lean on your faith, trust in God’s guidance, and remember that you are not alone.
The right friends will be there for you, walking beside you on this journey, helping you to rediscover the beauty of life and the joy of genuine connection. Cherish these friendships, and allow them to be a source of strength as you continue to heal and grow.