Let me share a gut-wrenching story about the wild tricks narcissists pull in family court, using a real-life example that hits close to home. This is a real life story another momma told me and said I could share.
So imagine this. A brave woman caught up in mediation with her ex-husband. She’d been through the wringer, dealing with his mental torture, and ended up on supervised visits with her kids because she leaned on addiction as a way to cope. But here’s the kicker – she turned her life around. Got sober, dived into therapy, and was genuinely doing better than ever before.
Now, brace yourself for the twisted part. Instead of striking when she was down and out and in her addiction, the ex-husband, classic narcissist move, waited until she was thriving. These types get a kick out of breaking you when you’re at your best. Recognizing her strength, he switched up his nasty game.
Enter a trusted friend, someone both parties knew well, had a long history with and trusted their children to be in her care up to this moment. This friend, offering to supervise visits as she had before, became the target of the ex’s latest scheme. To make things even more absurd, this narcissist reveled in saying outrageous things just to prove a twisted point. Employing a second scheme, he crafted an elaborate lie that was both amusing to him and strategically designed to show the mom just how helpless she was in this situation. His aim? Not only to get away with it but also to ensure she would have to foot the bill for her supervised visits— a cost she wouldn’t bear if her friend was able to help.
Picture this: the friend, shocked and outraged, faced baseless accusations. Not just at the accusation alone, but the fact that she now had these words floating in her mind. Words she never even knew existed together. The ex-husband, with a smirk, claimed that after visits, the kids were using vulgar language about him, specifically mocking the size of his manhood. He alleged that the friend, a proper, God-fearing woman who’s never uttered such words in her life, instigated this mockery. The narcissist, in his relentless pursuit of his own goals, didn’t care how this affected the friend; he was solely focused on reaching his manipulative objectives.
Here’s where it gets even more infuriating. The woman’s own lawyer drops the ball, letting this absurd accusation slide. and he gets his way. Mom feeling helpless to his schemes and stuck paying loads of money to have visitation with her children. And what does a mom do when her own lawyer isn’t cutting it and just documenting doesn’t seem enough?
1. **Rally Your Allies:** Call in friends, family, or supportive groups who’ve seen your commitment and character firsthand.
2. **Therapeutic Allies:** Bring in the experts – therapists and mental health professionals who can vouch for your dedication to growth and stability.
3. **Second Legal Opinion:** If your lawyer isn’t fighting tooth and nail, seek a second opinion to ensure your rights are fiercely defended.
4. **Custody Evaluations:** Suggest a professional evaluation by an unbiased third party to show the court your real parenting capabilities.
5. **Court-Appointed Expert:** Ask for an independent expert, like a psychologist or social worker, to provide an unbiased evaluation of the situation.
6. **Showcase Personal Growth:** Highlight your commitment to personal development with records of classes, workshops, or any efforts to become the best parent possible.
In the face of a narcissist’s manipulative tactics, it’s not just about documenting; it’s about building a multi-pronged strategy. Gather your tribe, enlist professional endorsements, and explore all legal avenues. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are concrete steps to shift the narrative and reclaim control over your life and your children’s well-being.
What are some outlandish claims you have heard a narcissist say in a family court setting and get away with?