Let’s talk about something we don’t often speak about—self-forgiveness. For many of us there’s a tendency to carry an overwhelming sense of guilt. Whether it’s for staying too long, missing the signs, or the mistakes we made along the way, that weight can be crushing. We may blame ourselves for the choices we made when we were simply trying to survive. But sister, hear me when I say this: self-forgiveness is key to unlocking true healing.
The Guilt We Carry
As moms, we’re wired to protect our children, to make sure their world is as safe and secure as possible. But when you’ve lived in a toxic environment, those instincts are tested in unimaginable ways. It’s easy to look back and think, “Why didn’t I leave sooner?” or “How could I let things get this bad?” These thoughts replay over and over in your mind, making you feel unworthy of grace. But the truth is, the situation wasn’t your fault, and neither is the abuse you endured.
We often hold ourselves to impossible standards, forgetting that we did the best we could with the tools we had at the time. Trauma blinds us to options that might seem obvious in hindsight. You weren’t weak. You were surviving.
The Lie of Perfection
Let’s call out a lie we often buy into: the idea that we have to be perfect to be loved by God or to love ourselves. Here’s the truth: God’s love for you doesn’t depend on your performance or your past. He sees your pain, He knows your struggles, and His grace covers it all. If He, the Creator of the universe, is willing to forgive you and extend His mercy, why are you holding on to the guilt?
The Freedom in Letting Go
Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest but most powerful steps in healing. When you forgive yourself, you are releasing the chains of shame and regret that hold you back from fully embracing the woman God has called you to be. And let’s be honest—how can you move forward when you’re constantly replaying your mistakes?
Self-forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t happen or ignoring the impact of our choices. It means acknowledging your pain, owning your story, and deciding not to let it define you anymore. Sister, you’ve already survived so much. It’s time to step into the freedom that comes with releasing that guilt.
The Healing Power of Grace
What if we extended to ourselves the same grace we offer our children? Think about how many times you’ve forgiven your child for making a mistake or getting something wrong. You don’t love them any less, and you certainly don’t want them to carry the burden of guilt forever. So why do you treat yourself differently?
The healing power of grace is transformative. It’s not about erasing the past but about embracing the future with a heart free from condemnation. God’s grace is sufficient—He has already forgiven you. Now it’s time for you to extend that same grace to yourself.
A New Beginning
Sister, it’s time for a fresh start. You’ve come through the fire, and you are still standing. But carrying guilt and self-blame only keeps you chained to the past. Let this be your moment to start anew. Let go of the need to be perfect, release the weight of guilt, and embrace the truth: You are worthy of love, forgiveness, and a new beginning.
God’s mercies are new every morning. If He can give you that kind of grace, so can you.