Dear incredible moms,

Today, I want to open up about something that cuts deep into my soul: the relentless battle of family court, both in and out of the courtroom. Let’s ditch the legalese and just chat heart-to-heart about the rollercoaster of emotions I’m riding. Being real with you is everything to me.

I’m feeling utterly exhausted. It’s like I’m constantly preparing for battle, facing endless paperwork and stress that seem to never let up. It drains every last ounce of energy from me, leaving me feeling like I’m running on empty. But beyond the legal chaos, there’s a deeper struggle—a sense of powerlessness that can leave me feeling utterly lost. It’s not just the physical fatigue, but the emotional toll that weighs heavy on my soul. It’s like watching life from the sidelines, while others get to be in the game every day. It’s a relentless cycle of fighting and waiting, never knowing when the next blow will come. Especially when the opponent doesn’t play fair, adding lies on top of the already rough battlefield, it feels like there’s no end in sight, no respite from the onslaught of injustice. And it’s lonely, so incredibly lonely, to navigate this labyrinth of legal battles without a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on. Each step forward feels like trudging through quicksand, with the weight of the world pressing down on my shoulders, threatening to swallow me whole.

And then there’s the blasted discovery process. It’s invasive and soul-sucking, like someone rifling through the most intimate parts of my life without a care in the world. Bank accounts, emails, texts—nothing feels off-limits. They even want my resume from the job I have now. Do they want my underwear, too? It leaves me feeling exposed and vulnerable, like my privacy doesn’t matter a darn bit. It’s as if they’re peeling back layers of my soul, dissecting every aspect of my existence under a microscope. Each document scrutinized, each word analyzed, until I feel like nothing more than a specimen under inspection. And it’s just another weight to add to my already burdened shoulders, another reminder of how little control I have over my own life.

All this scrutiny just piles on the stress. It’s a constant reminder of how powerless I can feel in a system that’s more focused on profits than people. It’s like being caught in a never-ending storm, with dark clouds looming overhead and no shelter in sight. The weight of each document, each court appearance, feels like a heavy chain dragging me down, threatening to suffocate me under its oppressive weight. But here’s the thing: I’m not alone in this mess. I’ve got you, and that’s a lifeline I’ll cling to with everything I’ve got. But above all, God is really my ULTIMATE lifeline. He’s my rock, my refuge in the storm. When everything else feels uncertain, His presence gives me strength and courage to keep going. In the face of adversity, His light shines brightest, guiding me through the darkest of times.

Still, In the midst of this storm, there’s the crushing loneliness. It’s like being stranded in the middle of a vast ocean, with no land in sight. It’s heavy, suffocating even, knowing that the futures of our families hang in the balance of a system that often feels rigged against us. I have to admit that at times, this keeps me up at night, my mind racing with worries about what’s to come.

But in the darkness, there’s a flicker of light. I have my faith, my anchor in the storm. God is with me as my ever constant friend, holding me up when I feel like I’m sinking. It’s not just in moments of desperation, but in every moment, that I turn to Him, pouring out my heart and finding solace in His presence. (Have you ever read the Psalms?!) His unwavering love surrounds me like a warm embrace, offering comfort in the midst of chaos. He feels every bit of my anguish and walks me through every single landmine. He’s the reason I keep going, the rock I cling to when everything else feels uncertain. With each whispered prayer, I feel His reassuring presence, guiding me through the darkest of nights. And though the road ahead may be fraught with obstacles, I walk with confidence, knowing that He walks beside me, every step of the way.

So to all my fellow warriors, I want you to know that it’s okay to feel exhausted, to feel like you’re barely hanging on. But don’t forget the fire burning inside you. Lean on your faith, lean on each other, and never forget that you’re not alone in this fight. Together, we’ll weather the loneliness, the powerlessness, and every other storm that comes our way.

With all my love and solidarity,

Gemma